Seaunce Fullofit writes again

I see it's been over a month since I have recorded some thoughts in this blog, and since it is a hot day here in Cayucos and I'm trying to recover from a headache thought I would add some comments for this day. Recently visited my son and grandson in Tucson, and it was good to see them both. My son and I hopefully repaired a leak on the den roof, and enjoyed two days of patching and becoming professional roofers. The standard for roofing would have to lower for us to qualify, but we did the best we could and at the end of our efforts the roof looked good.




the weather was not bad there, and that is why I had waited until October to return for that project. My son and I also were able to go up on the mountain and do some fishing, but did not have much success at least in the way of catching them. It is always good to spend time with them, and although my grandson who I called G-man did not come with us hopefully that day will come and bad pun or not we can get him hooked on fishing. His only association with that at this time is destroying my son's fishing tackle. He does do a rather exceptional job of that.

I continue my boycott of Facebook even though I'm told that it would enhance my sales for e-books and audio books. I referred to my audio and e-books as my empire, and it has been a great source of entertainment for me to check my sales figures every day. Fortunately I had never really anticipated a huge monetary return from my writings, and had I done so my expectations would have been not met. It continues to be fun for me and for the few friends of mine who understand that I do not take it serious.

In some ways this blog is equal to what I call faceless notes, but it enables me to continue journaling and keeping that connection to myself through this particular form of art. My dictation program continues to get better, and believe that is because I am learning to speak more clearly and without the slow Texas speech that seems to confuse the program. I doubt I will become the how now brown cow speaker, but at least the program understands me if not anyone else.

This Journal will be updated onto my authors page on Amazon.com, and it seems there are many ways to link ourselves to communicate with others but it seemed so very little communication goes on. Getting older and more opinionated, and realizing my opinions are of little importance but I can't seem to shake them and must attribute it to part of the human condition.

I realize that a point will come if that has not already where I will be rambling, but rambling has served me well and on occasion it will reveal to me something that bounces around in the bone that is called my head. I recently started a new Gmail account and revived the pen name that I used in the late 70s. The pen name was Sauance Fullofit. I use that name for a column that I wrote a small publication titled Silly Times. I wrote the silly Astro cast, and some of them were beyond silly but as a way to entertain myself it served its purpose.

This stream of consciousness that my friend Michael says is what I do when I write without thinking is a pretty interesting stream at times, but when I am dictating I feel that the stream gets diverted and at times downright dammed up. There probably was a train of thought originally when I began this, but I would have to backtrack and read what that train was.

Have joked many years ago with a friend who went on to become the savior of mankind (at least in his thoughts) that we catch many trains at many stations and jumped trains from time to time. I like to try for the same region in my train travels or brain travels but on occasion will go interplanetary and wonder how in the heck did I get here.

Continuing to live across the beach here in Cayucos and recently added a new addition to my used boat /motorcycle lot. I brought my 16 1/2 foot 1974 Browning boat when I returned from Tucson. For a man who does not have very much in the way of income I seem to have been accumulating objects. Hope to get this object in the water soon, but the winds have been extremely high, and since I have zero experience in the ocean in a boat thought that I would better my chances in better weather.

This is turning into quite an entry, and I'm sure I could continue on, but my headache is about gone, and there are some things I need to do to salvage what otherwise has seemed like a very nonproductive day. It is productive in the sense that I'm still here and I'm still thankful to be here. Doesn't take much effort to breathe air, but I know that is not true and have a very young friend who sometimes has quite a bit of difficulty in breathing air. She is one of those amazing spirits that we all benefit from our knowing and knowing of her courage and wonderful imagination.

I've named the boat the Muttley pumpkin in honor of my friend Rhonda . We continue to have fun and enjoy our time.

audio books uploaded

the company  I was referred to by Amazon accepted the three audio uploads for the three e-books I have on Amazon. It was good to complete this, and will now let those three titles go for a while. It was fun to see words and feelings before it was ready to publish and the link to signify this was titled I'm done.

It seemed appropriate since words and feelings was an idea for publishing some of my poetry dating back as far as 1974. There are quite a few sentiments and ideals in that poetry that I no longer identify with but to be true to the time and the feelings and probably nostalgia I published them in an e-book and the audio. The company is called ACX, and after submission they said it would be 2 to 3 weeks before they would be available for sale. This has been  a project for me, and fun and rewarding.

I joke with my friends about this and refer to my sales department, and one of my more proud accomplishments. There is one person in France who downloaded a free copy of the 35 letters from Vietnam. It seems that Spain and Italy had no interest even when the cost was zero. I've since withdrawn my promotional offer, and notice the sales has slowed considerably. Still it is fun, and as I have said numerous times and meant numerous times it has been more about the fun of doing this than it has the possibility of receiving any compensation for it.

My compensation is to still be here and enjoying this life and continuing to retell some of what I feel the more interesting events in my life. I had postponed the writing  I was doing when I became involved with the e-book and audio book projects. I will be resuming my editing and adding stories for the hopeful completion of this effort.

In the meantime enjoying good health and more clear skies here at the beach.

www.youtube.com/user/baobabs48?feature=mhee

reasonably sure that I have included this link recently or at least in the past but thought I would reinsert it. Videos of my trip to Canada and also some of my sons musical compositions can be viewed on this YouTube channel.

this photograph was taken approximately 350 feet above Lake Tahoe in June of this year. My friend Rhonda treated me to this unique and fun experience. This is probably one of the larger smiles I've had on my face in my life, and thoroughly enjoyed seeing Tahoe.

On 27 June I left Tahoe for Canada. I had hoped to go to Canada by motorcycle for the last two years but had to postpone my trip last year. my trip ultimately went as far as Clearwater British Columbia. It was there that I was able to visit four glacial waterfalls in the Wolf Gray provincial Park.

I've recently published to titles on Amazon. One being 35 Letters From Vietnam and the other the book of poetry that I self published in 1995 Words and Feelings. I have the audio for both of these books and within the next three days will be uploading those to another of Amazon's companies to make them available.  Marketing has not and will not ever be a strength of mine, but Amazon seems to do well at it so will see if purely through luck I might generate some income from these old writings.

Currently I'm editing short stories that pertain to close calls that I've had beginning in Vietnam. I also have the audio files for these stories but they need to be edited for an e-book publication. It has been sometime since I have posted a blog at this location. Amazon has an author's page that provides a link to a blog so I thought since I have this one I would include this in my authors page.

In reading the journal entry before this one I had mentioned working on the recordings of my writings for my son and daughter. I completed the project in August of last year and felt a sense of accomplishment since I have been hopeful of finishing this project for many years. My health is good at this time and thankful as always for that.

I closed my Facebook account but before so doing have renamed it faceless notes. I understand as I post this blog this is in the same area as Facebook, but I need to practice with dictating, and there are a few friends and family that might find these entries entertaining and informative. For my trip to Canada I purchased a go Pro camera and had it mounted to the top of my helmet for most of the trip. There were many firsts on my motorcycle adventure. Doubtful that I will make another such trip, but thankful and amazed that I was able to make at least this one.

I'll be coming back to post more pictures and possible videos. To the very few of you who read this I love you and appreciate your support.

Helmcken Falls

Getting caught up?

In August of this year 2011 I completed recording the writings that I have been doing since 1968. These recordings included poetry, prose, personal short stories, journals, and just about any title you would like to give to writing with the exception of science fiction, and there might have been even some of that scattered throughout.

It was quite a sense of personal accomplishment to have completed this project. I combined all of the recordings in his best sequences I could and burned them to DVD data discs. I gave one copy to my son and one copy to my daughter. The personal accomplishment was that as I was reading some of my journals I had made reference to hopefully someday completing this project. When that day did come unexpectedly to me I felt a sense of being caught up with myself and having processed the many  experiences that I have had in my life of 63 years. I do not like the term closure because feel that it is so overused and that also in any specific time in history there is a word that gets popularity and as result overused and loses its meaning. This just could be my rebellious nature, since there are times when words become frustrating. It is basically the frustration of not having the words to express the emotion which I have found the problem is not in the words but in defining the feelings within.

It is a good feeling to be caught up with myself and does seem to open the possibilities for enjoying more of today and hopefully not as of traumatic experiences as I have had in the past. My recent experiences have been of feeling more of a closeness to my son, the very wonderful gift of being able to be more expressive, as well is the gift of being able to be more receptive to others expressions. I've really been enjoying riding a motorcycle which has a unique story as to how I came about having this motorcycle. Within the past two months I also purchased a kayak and that has been a tremendously great time for me and a couple of great times for my son as well. Currently I'm doing a lot of reading and is much fishing as I can. My thoughts of writing when they are of writing is of an idea that has persisted for some time.

The idea once came to me in the form of the title to a poem, and if the idea or  title persisted I would eventually express and develop,  oftentimes not really knowing what was there and as a rule surprised at what was. Writing has always seemed to be a cyclic experience for me with times of volume and quality supplemented with times of less to nothing. Recently updated my website and it had been sometime since I had placed an the effort in that venture. Questioning the Internet and the seemingly impersonal nature of it, but aware that it is a way, potential way of communication and contact, and I enjoyed both from friends and strangers alike.

Cheer leaders for sobriety test

July 19, 2011
in 1969 I was in the United States Marine Corps and was instructing summer reservists at the base in San Diego. It was my duty to instruct a group mostly from New York that consisted of professional people who opted to fulfill their military service in the reserve. The class that I instructed was radio communications. My class consisted of men who would probably never need radio communications in a military sense.

When I would give a test to my class it was always multiple-choice, and when giving the test verbally I would ask the question and then say the possible answers usually designated as a through C or D. I would read an answer for example as a, which you think about it is really not that good choice, or perhaps b, or c which is a good possibility always putting emphasis and voice inflection on the correct answer.

This group of men were smart enough to never get 100% correct and even though they always knew the correct answer would intentionally throw in a few incorrect answers. At the end of this class I was called to come to the commanding officers office and commended for having the highest class average to ever go through the school. I accepted the acknowledgment of my teaching skills with a straight face.

At one time during the class I took and unauthorized trip to Texas and my class covered for me attending class every day for the time that I was gone. My plan was to be back at a certain time, but was literally bumped from the plane as I was seated on the plane because I was flying standby. Militarily speaking I was AWOL for about two days until I could return to the base. It was during this time that my students covered for me attending class regularly as if I were there.

When I returned I was met by a noncommissioned officer while walking to the class one day. This man told me that he knew that I was AWOL but that he could not prove it. He just wanted me to know that he knew, but nothing more was mentioned by him or anyone else.

I developed quite a good relationship with this class and we spent a lot of time off base going to clubs and even once to a go kart track. On one of our outings to Mickey Finns in San Diego the men that were with me convinced the waitresses that it was not only my birthday, but that I was a professor of psychology at San Diego State University. The waitresses actually got on stage and sang happy birthday to me and I believe pretty much every one of the waitresses gave me a birthday kiss. By the time we left Mickey Finns at closing time we had drank quite a bit of beer, and I had managed a date with one of the waitresses for the next evening.

We were returning to base when at the same time I noticed either an arm or a leg, I honestly cannot remember which hanging out the back window of my vehicle which was a 68 run runner I had purchased after returning from Vietnam I also noticed the police car with its lights flashing behind me. I pulled over and got out of the car, and was asked for my drivers license.

In 1969 the old method of passing a sobriety test in the field was how your drunkenness was determined. I cannot remember the sequence of the tests, but believe there were about four total. After each test which I completed successfully my obviously drunken students would cheer, whistle, and shout encouragement for my successful efforts. Much like in a movie I would make a motion with my hand trying to get them not to do that. It had no effect whatsoever on them and they continued to cheer me on after each phase of the test.

After I had walked heel to toe, touched my nose with both hands, I decided that I would impress this policeman with my ability to speak clearly and enunciate so that he could truly see I was in complete control of my faculties. I said officer, but before I could continue this young policeman looked up at me and said Billy you are ahead now son, don't blow it. He obviously knew what I was going to attempt, and I never said another word.

The last part of the test was with my feet placed together closing my eyes and bending over backwards as far as I could. I successfully did that although it produced a very bad headache almost instantly. My cheerleaders applauded, whistled, and said way to go big bill. The officer said Billy, I know that you're drunk, but I can't prove it so if you promise to take these drunks and yourself directly back to the base I'm only going to give you a warning ticket, how does that sound? I said that sounded very good, was given the warning ticket and took my students and myself straight to the base which is where we were heading anyway.

The next day I called the waitress and told her that I was not a psychology professor, but only an instructor in the Marine Corps and certainly would understand if she did not want to go out with me. We did go out on a date anyway, and I'll never know if she really believed those drunks in the first place.

I related the story, because I always thought it was rather neat to have had a cheer leading section for a sobriety test.

gift from my Aunt Annie

 

received this and two hats from my Aunt Annie. To her credit and history the only person on the planet that has pushed me in a baby stroller. 

Returning gifts

June 5, 2011,
it has been six days, and I had to stop to add those since I have been laid off. Surprisingly it did not take me that long to readjust from nights to days. I've gotten back into my dictation program for a few e-mails with this is the first morning that I felt like recording more than a few e-mails. I dictate now hesitantly realizing that I'm probably getting too much thought to what my next words will be instead of trusting that they will be what they should be.

In the days to come now that I have some time I need to have my eyes examined because I believe that they are getting weaker even though they still serve me well I can tell. Still continuing with my exercising, but have lagged a bit, eating habits, reminding me of former habits that have contributed to my poor health. Three days ago one day after being laid off I realized how very healthy I did feel and how very strong I feel. It was a nice change from hearing so many aches and pains that friends and relatives seem to point out. It occurred to me that I had nothing to complain about in the way of health and that everything was well.

This reminded me of when I first came Morro Bay and remember the feeling and experience the feeling once again of happiness. This is been twice within the past four years that while here in Morro Bay I have had remembrances in the reoccurrence of feelings that have lain dormant in seemingly had been gone from my life. Thinking romantically this morning without giving structure to this thought I'm hopeful that there are other feelings that have lain dormant in seemingly gone from me that will avail themselves. This goes with my probably romantic thought that everything that we need is there we just have to have patience to wait for it to come to us. The more that we try to pursue what we feel that we need probably as pursuing what we want and therefore is seemingly difficult to obtain.

It is much better for me when I do not look to the  screen to try to correct what I'm saying  with this dictation program. The problem that I have been watching the screen is that I spent a lot of time in corrections and by a lot of time i mean my impatience in spending any time at all in correcting for what I was trying to write and  in this medium say.

There is also a radio playing in the background and I'm not sure if perhaps that's not interfering of if it is my southern accent which is not the most in clarity unless forced to be so. Again the thought of forcing something does not set well with me but then I think that force can be equated with motivation and when it comes to self-motivation a certain amount of force required or you do not move in the direction's that your mind might think you need to move in. My mind this morning is moving me to make a trip to Tucson, which I will probably do within the next two days.

It does feel good to resume recording thoughts once again and reminding myself and bringing to my attention where I am at this time on my path or trail journey or whatever term people use to identify with existence. The song just came on which is telling a story about Mexican horse thieves. It has a bit of a haunting melody and probably telling a great story of some Mexican horse thief. I may get up and turn off the radio because my mind does go to music and I believe most people's minds do go to music.

In the past few days I have wondered if my desire or ability if you can call it an ability to write and hopefully to create had left me. This is not the first time that I have felt this feeling and I'm always grateful when the ability if that is what this  is, or the desire, or need to express returns. Perhaps it is from loneliness and my thoughts this morning at not having anyone that would have that much time to devote to my seemingly endless supply of stories, philosophies, and curiosities. I am rechecking the screen as our record but not as I do record and what I just noticed when I checked the previous Was the Combination of Stories Philosophies, and Curiosities. My thought was that would make a good title and may indeed be the title to the poem or more extended thought since I for some reason have not written as much poetry as I have in the years to this time.

I have expressed to myself and others that I believe that poetry was the quickest way for me to get to my emotions in keeping with my ability and probably inherent trait of guilt. I then blame myself for being too lazy in the expression of what I was thinking, and perhaps misleadingly thought that if I wrote more details of my feelings that they would be more clear or more understood. I'm reminded of when I first began reading the King James version of the Bible at how humbled I was that such short to the point sentences not even poetry could relay an idea. My ego was high because I could write poetry but not necessarily for what I had to say through that poetry. It could be that when I reread my poetry that is why it is like reading it for the first time. When the thoughts came to me as a gift I didn't understand what I was writing, more importantly I did not feel what I was writing. The novelty it seems of rereading old writings especially poetry but not to exclude any other writings is that whatever the messages were that were there were not being received by me but they were being related by me if for no other purpose than for me to read years and years later when I finally get it, get the point or points. Funny way to look at it as if leaving notes for myself ahead of time. But the notes come from somewhere else and that somewhere else is life.